I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
Election Day 2016 shall forever live in infamy as the day when I hobbled through my neighborhood, mascara melting down my face, wearing one slipper and a cast, blood and cum all over my skirt, carrying a box of wine, and no one even noticed.
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
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