Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
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