But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
God, I missed his penis.
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
