So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
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