dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
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