96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
I'm a teacher who's always telling kids about the importance of due diligence, yet I'm eating an avocado out of a coffee filter because I'm too lazy to wash dishes
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
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