worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
the day after is always just damage control
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
