Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
is it fun? or sober?
Randomize
