Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
That's when you crack a 10am beer
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
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