No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
