Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
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