i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
Randomize
