Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
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