I wannas sexs uuuuu
Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
Randomize
