You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
Randomize
