i don't plan on having that self control this summer
She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
Randomize
