I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
Randomize
