I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
Randomize
