Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
Randomize
