Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
Randomize
