Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
Trying to figure out these fractions. I bought 5 fifths of gin last week. Does that mean I have one whole gin? 5/5 = 1, right? You're having to homeschool your kids right now--so ask them.
Randomize
