but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
