So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
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