Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
He told everyone he was freezing their keys so they couldn't drive drunk. When I opened the freezer this morning, my keys were at the bottom of an unfrozen ice cream tub of vodka.
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
Randomize
