Its about making memories worth repressing
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
Randomize
