at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
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