I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
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