I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Randomize
