So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
Randomize
