the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
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