i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
Randomize
