I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
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