My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
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