Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
it's like heaven, but drunker
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
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