I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
Blow job season was short but glorious.
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
Randomize