Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
Randomize
