My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
you're hired as official boob wrangler
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
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