so that wasnt chicken after all
I swear to god Kristen, if this "cute" guy you are trying to hook up with's friend asks me if we can role play, and I play his mother one more time, Im leaving. You have 3 minutes to save me or I am out.
I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
Randomize
