32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
it was like having sex with a tree stump
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
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