i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
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