I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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