I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Randomize
