so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
Randomize
