I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Randomize
