just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
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