Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
Randomize