I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
Fuck appropriateness.
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
Randomize
