That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
