ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
40s are totally the cure
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
Randomize
