OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
Randomize
