whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
Randomize
