dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
Randomize
