I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
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