make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
Randomize
