I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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