Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
Randomize