No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
Randomize
