I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
Randomize
