okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
Randomize
