So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
Randomize
