we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
My phone now knows what I type and it prompts me with frequently used words. And anytime I use "and" and hit the space key two of the words are "unicorn" and "sausage"
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
Randomize
