you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
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